If you have an appointment with someone, and he doesn’t show up in time, anxiety kicks in. Many thoughts run in your mind. You wonder why he gave you that time. If you are carrying some luggage that you must surrender to him, it becomes more heavier with every minute of delay. Such is the pain that comes with waiting for a child to come. You have this load of societal blame resting on your shoulders. While our Editah Hadassa trip contends that childlessness does not define us, waiting makes it a painful journey. We fret over the pressures from our in-laws, friends and relatives. We endure jokes calculated to demean our manliness or womanhood. Our shoulders collapse under the weight of social rejection. We know that we are waiting. However, we wonder how to deal with this burden that daily weighs us down
Is there a solution to deal with this weight on our shoulders? Below are a few suggestions to consider. These are self-care tools built from the word WEIGHT.
1.Wait on the Lord. People have made promises, but they have never fulfilled them.
It is only in waiting upon the Lord that we find comfort in untoward circumstances. In a
childless life we suffer from emotional torment, spiritual relapses, and sociological
disconnectedness. We, however, have a friend who will not judge us when we send our requests
to Him. Imagine telling a prayer band at church that my prayer request is that I have a child.
They will have a story to tell others when the prayer meeting is over. It is better to offload
your burden to God.
2.Exercise daily. Tension that is mounting in the body because of life’s negative encounters
needs to be released. Exercise facilitates the release of endorphins “happy hormones” that will
ameliorate anguish. Dedicating thirty minutes in a day would be beneficial in offloading the
weight
3.Innovatively face life’s challenges. The person who said, “when life gives you a lemon make
a lemonade,” was speaking about being able to turn sorrow into dancing and song (Psalm 30:11). Use
pain as a tool for achieving your goals.
4.Give love to the disadvantaged. Acts of kindness have healing virtues. Kindness therapy works
well for involuntarily childless people. Take time to think about a kindness project that you can do
to help those in pain.
5.Hope that one day you will be blessed. Think about Joseph, a child who was born after twenty
years of waiting. What he dreamt at seventeen became a reality at thirty. When he was thrown into a pit
by his brothers, he did not know that Potiphar would put him in prison to emerge as a palatial person.
It is hope that makes not ashamed as walk, talk and live among those who have children. Remember when
an elevator door closes, it is about to go up.
6.Think positively. Pain has a way of making you feel like you’re nothing. Optimism is its antibiotic.
Life is like a rose we do well to focus on the bright petals and ignore the thorns. Think positively in a
negative world.
As you wait muse on the words of this poem. Be blessed and have a happy waiting.
While I Wait, What of this Weight?
I could hear it huffing from one mile
I thought the next train would be mine
It was a strong fact I could not deny
While His gentle voice was benign
All I had always imagined was a lie
While I wait, what of this weight?
On every night tears stream down my cheeks
Daily I experience and endure the devil’s kicks
On my sorrow chants there are no clicks
On my broken narratives there are no likes
Viewing my life from dizzy heights
My dreams shattered by childlessness pikes
While I wait, what of this weight?
I need a wagon to ferry this infertility freight
My limbs collapse because I have no might
I wrestle with God through all the night
He promised that on my behalf He will fight
My heart looks upon Him for He is right
While I wait, what of this weight?
I’ll give it to Him for he knows what is right
And stop crying to those who make my muscles tight.
With my load, I will forever depend on His might
By Sikhumbuzo Dube