My New Year's Resolution:I will adopt

It was when I was watching the Zimbabwean National Television with my dear wife of nine years when the topic of adoption popped up. We instantly turned and looked at each other and smiled. This got me thinking about a new year’s resolution. I said to myself, “I will adopt!”

The subject of adoption is a delicate one. I have decided to tackle it differently in this article. Some people with children find it easier to suggest it to the childless. However, it may not meet the needs of the involuntarily childless. In biblical times, while Abraham had adopted Eliezer his servant to be his son, he was still experiencing lost manliness. Having an adopted child did not solve his socio-culturally induced demand for patriarchy. This is not to say adoption is a negative thing but to show that it may not be the answer to the felt needs of the childless.

While adoption is a great thing, the ones doing it must have been thoroughly prepared. In my thoughts about it, I revisited the word and what it entails. When it is not in connection with children, it means taking up something to be yours. It could be an idea, a plan, or attitude. While I may be battling with legally embracing a child, I need to adopt something. This is my resolution. Below is my game plan for adoption in 2019. I have broken it down into an acronym to help me get focused.

1. Accept my condition. When I look at my situation, there is nothing I can do to change it. If I continue lamenting about the ills that are associated with it, I will continue eroding my self-worth. On the contrary, adopting an attitude of acceptance of my condition as normal, will equip me with resources to fearlessly face my foes. Among these enemies is the myths that come with being childless.
2. De-mythologise the subject of childlessness. In a pronatalistic society, a person that has no children is viewed with suspicion because of the myths that are related with the phenomenon. In a self-funded study that I am still conducting, I have been discovering that there are a lot of cultural myths that are associated with childlessness. In my adoption plan, I am determined to de-mythologise this experience.
3.Obliterate pessimism. One of the “oomph-thwarting” ingredient is the way we tend to look at things. When life is viewed from a pessimistic perspective, it will soon translate to a meaningless routine. To develop an attitude of gratitude is a necessary ingredient that adds a spring to one’s step. In my adoption plan, I will always look at things positively. I will not tolerate anything that intends to bury my optimism.

4.Plan ahead. When pessimism has been obliterated, planning ahead becomes a joy because the reasons why something will fail are not viewed as barriers but threats that need to be considered in the game plan. The blueprint must be very exciting and must be large enough to stretch my potential. It should improve who and what I am and subsequently impact the lives of those around me. If not, then it is not worth pursuing. Dreaming big and living as one connected with the divine will “enlarge my territory.”

5.Trust in Divine providence. Having plans is a great resource in becoming what and who I should be. However, dreams without divine guidance are nightmares that scare one into a goalless reality. In my pursuit of being a childless man that will leave an indelible mark in the hearts of those I meet, I am adopting trust in divine power.This is my resolution for the year 2019. It is our desire that you may ADOPT in this year!! Muse on the words of the poem I have recently penned:

I Will Adopt Joy

Frustrated by their failed dreams
Infuriated by self-created prisons
Damaged by a variety of reasons
Lost in life’s complicated prisms
And trapped by personal decisions
I will adopt

The bright, bouncing baby of joy
Rejected by an uncultured boy
Wallowing in mire that can destroy
Labelled as the one to annoy
Has been the child in life I enjoy
I will adopt

The uncaring mother thought she was useless
The irresponsible father saw her as lifeless
However, she brings calmness to the restless
Without her everything in life is meaningless
The stolid become more heartless
I will adopt
When others have ruthlessly dumped joy
I’ll adopt her and in all things employ
In all areas of life journey deploy
From sadness I will always recoil
And this will be my life’s ploy.
Yes, I will adopt the deserted joy.

Sikhumbuzo Dube